


John: Be afraid of the cool kid.

by writerkind



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/402819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerkind/pseuds/writerkind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on Zeborah's Generic High School AU in which Dave is a cool guy doing whatever cool guys do and bullying dorks like John but PLOT TWIST Dave is actually totally gay for John.<br/>[like this hasn't been done before]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intimidated

**Author's Note:**

> So I'll just casually add on another chapter soon I guess.  
> (and I apologize for the poorly written-ness of this, oh my god. I didn't really read it through and the last bit of dialogue is just so rushed, it's embarrassing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typed this with quirks and I'm so sorry that was a terrible decision also the writing on this chapter is rather questionable, but I think I get better by the next chapter actually I just improve as I go... keep reading if you're going to read this.

Bzzt bzzt! Bzzt Bzz- A grumpy hand slammed onto the source of the noise, a vibrating cell phone. It was April 13th, and John Egbert was being rudely awoken by a entirely unnecessary happy birthday text from his sister, who was most likely downstairs eating breakfast. Did she have to text him? They live in the same freaking house, and besides its her 16th birthday, too.  
It was a Friday, and along with being tired from the week, John was kinda sorta dreading school today, despite it being his birthday. The school jocks had been shooting him angry looks all week, and he was expecting those angry looks to culminate into getting beat up or shoved into a locker today. (Don’t even begin to add in all those stupid Friday the Thirteenth jokes)  
Getting to school was rather uneventful, as usual, but as soon as he stepped off the bus, John began glancing around, warily searching for any sign of those dumb red letterman jackets his tormentors usually wore. He was halfway to his locker before he saw the usual group of burly idiots walking down the hall. Most of them were just nameless hulks, but he knew a couple of them by name. Particularly the Strider brothers. Dave and his older brother Dirk were probably the most famous, sought after guys in the school. They always wore shades, even in class, and they always had this detached, aloof look to them. Of course, they had their pick of literally any girl in school, but as far as John knew, neither of them had had girlfriends before. Too cool for that, John guessed.  
To his surprise, and relief, no one said a word to him, or even gave him a glance. He thought he saw Dave tilt his head towards him for a minute, but he prayed that it was just imagination, because if one of the leaders of the cool kid gang was after him, he was screwed.  
~~  
Up until lunch, John Egbert had never been more pleased to be wrong about something in his life. For one day, he was being left alone. No locker shoving, no punches, no anything! And then lunch happened.  
Walking back to his locker, he passed Dave nervously. Oh god there was no one to help him right now if things went badly. He had walked a few steps passed Dave, breathing a quick sigh of relief, before he found himself pinned against the wall of lockers. Damn Striders and their flashstepping.  
“d-dave? i dont know what I did but please leave me alone I dont want to get beaten up again!” John whimpered. There was literally no personal space between the two of them. He was basically being held against the metal behind him by Dave’s body, and their faces were closer together than John had ever been with a girl. He attempted to squirm away but Dave’s arms blocked him on both sides. Trapped.  
“calm down bro im not gonna hurt you okay i just need to talk to you fuck man will you chill?” John was still trying to wiggle his way out, and he was also avoiding looking straight at Dave, partially because he was becoming aware that he might be enjoying this predicament a little bit (Hey, what could John say? The Striders had captivated all the girls, but more than a few guys were also looking).  
“just look at me seriously its not that hard” John gave him a quick glance before flitting his eyes away. He could already feel the heat in his eyes, dammit he was gonna start crying.  
“um, sorry dave! im just a little uh…” There was the telltale crack in John’s voice. He pulled up a hand to wipe away the tear running down his face. Oh crap, here comes the beating for being such a baby crap crap crap. He winced as Dave pulled away a little, mentally prepping himself for the punch he knew was coming, but there was no punch.  
“fuck dude are you crying shit I didnt mean to scare you that bad I swear im not gonna kick your ass just ugh no stop please oh fuck it” Dave looked like he was at a loss. Clearly he had a scenario in his head, and John’s tears had just derailed it completely. He patted John’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. Its took a full two minutes before John could breathe normally, but he did actually calm down.  
“what exactly did you mean to tell me, before i kind of lost my shit?” John asked awkwardly. What could you feel after dissolving into loud sobs in front of one of the coolest kids in school, other than embarrassed and awkward? Dave didn’t actually seem to mind though. In fact, at such a close range, John could see the faint outline of Dave’s eyes through his shades, and the guy actually looked like he felt genuinely bad about what had just happened.  
“well i was gonna apologize for being such a huge dick to you all the time but i guess i just made it a fuckton worse so sorry man and i was gonna try to…” Dave trailed off, catching himself before he finished his sentence. “never mind just yeah you shouldnt be scared of me or anything i actually…” Another pause. “youre actually a pretty cool dude you should come and talk to me more ill keep the other guys from punching you or something” Dave stepped back, letting John move away.  
“wow um okay dave. this is seriously unexpected, i mean, you kind of hate me don’t you? but okay, apology accepted i guess!” John was feeling unbelievably nervous as he started walking away.  
“oh hey egbert” Dave called after him. John turned back but didn’t stop walking. “happy birthday bro” John grinned, because the first person to say happy birthday to him was Dave fucking Strider, who up until this moment he had assumed was absolutely untouchable. But maybe he was wrong, because Dave was smiling at him. Well, smiling was the wrong word, because Striders never smile. It was really just an appreciative smirk, but that might have been the most affection a Strider had shown anyone, and John was pretty sure that meant something.  
The rest of the day, John was in the best mood he had been in for ages.


	2. Roadblocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's dad makes cake, John comes to terms with his latent homosexuality, Dirk is a huge asshole, and Dave just wants to be a good brother.  
> How do I summary?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switched to 2nd person POV because I can.  
> Also dropped the typing dialogue with texting styles because that was silly.  
> Also yay! I wrote a new chapter.
> 
> [edit: yes i'm still going to update this but i'm currently on computer lockdown thanks to my parents so indefinite halt until i get it back for normal use, sorry]

You walk into your room and sit on your bed, processing the events of the day. So Dave Strider, literally one of the two most popular kids in the entire school, doesn’t hate you. Actually, in the most startling turn of events in the entire century, he might actually want to be friends with you. You try to ignore the thoughts in your head regarding the way he cornered you. You fail. Sure, you like girls (that’s not to say that girls like you back), but guys? Really? You’ve never really considered yourself gay, but fuck, Dave is really attractive. Like, really attractive. And it’s not like you’re the only guy who thinks that, since half the damn school is after him. Okay okay, enough! Focus on the fact that you have someone who can possibly protect you from the other guys at school. You breathe a little sigh of relief, because maybe now you won’t have to deal with half as much of the bullying that you’re used to.  
Knock knock!  
Your dad opens the door and walks in, concern on his face.  
“John, are you okay? You didn’t say anything when you walked in, did someone hurt you again?” You grin at him, because for the first time in a while, everything actually is okay.  
“No Dad, I’m fine! I’m great, actually!” He smiles faintly, not quite convinced. You can’t say you blame him, you’ve actually been really down lately because of everything at school. “Seriously Dad, don’t freak out or anything. I had a good day.” you reassure him.  
“Alright, son. Happy sixteenth birthday, then. Dinner for you and your sister in an hour.” He leaves you alone, and you sigh, because he says dinner, but he means dinner and a fuckload of cake and dessert. The man can’t stop baking whenever his kids’ birthday comes around.  
Suddenly you are struck by your usual urge to actually be a productive high school student, and you pull out some books and throw yourself into the physics homework you’ve got. There’ll be time to figure out your changing position in the social ladder. That is, if it changes at all.

==> Be the cool kid.  
You are now Dave Strider, the coolest kid in your school (except for your older brother, of course). You are Dave and you are doing something really fucking crazy, even if you plead that you did it for irony’s sake. You are befriending John Egbert, who your brother recently deemed the biggest derp in the history of the world. Well, you have a bit more than friendship on your mind, but that would be rushing it. These things take time, and a fuckload of explaining to your friends how the best irony has a bit of sincerity tucked away in it. They just kind of nodded and took your word for it, because why would you be wrong anyways? It’s tough being at the top.  
In any case, nobody actually knows that you’ve said more than a word or two to the guy, since you caught him in an empty hallway, but that’s gonna have to change if your plans are to fully play out.  
“Fuck!” You jump as your brother suddenly appears in your room, with the tip of a sword to your neck.  
“Bro. Explain why you were talking to Egbert at lunch today. Now.” He watches you carefully, looking for any kind of involuntary response to his question. You don’t give him any.  
“Fuck off, Dirk.” You dodge the question, preferring your usual mode of communication, profanity and indifference. You can’t have Dirk messing around with your plans, so he just has to stay in the dark for now. The sword presses threateningly against your neck, and you know he isn’t afraid to draw blood. Maybe right now is a good time to clue your bro in on what’s happening after all. “Wow asshole. Fine, I was just talking to him because I kinda feel bad about being a dick to him is all.” Dirk lowers the sword, but keeps his gaze on you.  
“You feel bad?” he repeats. “Have you seen the kid? I mean seriously, the teeth are questionable enough, but I’ve literally never encountered a more socially inept person in my life.” He shakes his head at you. “Dude, what is wrong with you?”  
“Nothing.” you reply. “I’m being a decent human being for once, deal with it.” He just looks at you again, and walks out. Your stomach knots a little, but you ignore it and pull on your headphones. Fuck Dirk. God, he’s so great with the people he likes, but the guy has a serious problem when it comes to the people that bug him. Come to think of it, a lot of people bug him. 

==>Resume being the nerdy kid.  
“John! Dinner’s ready!” You look up from the homework you had been working on and sniff the air. Something smells good, and currently there is no signs of cake in the works. You venture downstairs, and are greeted by Jade and your dad at the table waiting for you. The table is already set, so you just take your place. Your dad comes around with several rounds of delicious food, which you welcome eating. When you and Jade have both finished dinner, your dad stands up. “Happy 16th birthday to both of you!” he says with a rare proud smile. “You’re both doing so well, so I thought I’d do something nice for the both of you.” You and Jade exchange a glance, knowing what was coming. He walks back to the kitchen, still talking. “I pulled up your Nanna’s old recipe,” You sigh and roll your eyes with Jade as your dad walked into the room. “and I made you both a birthday cake.” He’s carrying an elaborate multi-tier cake, with fondant ghosts and dogs covering the surface.  
“Wow Dad, you’ve really outdone yourself this time!” You say, only half-pleased. You try to hide your annoyance at the cake, whose recipe is surely from the Batterwitch herself, and appreciate the work your dad put into such a confectionary masterpiece. He serves you and Jade each a generous slice, and you suck it up and eat the damn cake. Somewhere between bites, you find that your thoughts have wandered back to Dave, and you find yourself replaying the scene from lunch in your head. Before you started crying, of course.  
“...John!” Jade’s voice breaks your thoughts.  
“Wha?” You shake your head, returning to the never-ending cake fest that is your birthday dinner.  
“I was saying I’m gonna go upstairs, but you can have the rest of the cake, since I know you loved it so much!” She grins at you, knowing she’s just cornered you into eating at least another three slices of cake. Damn you, Jade. Suppressing a sigh, you glance at your dad, who is watching you expectantly.  
“I...uh...Thanks Jade, that’s really sweet of you...I think.” You reluctantly take another slice and attempt to ignore the increasing number of thoughts about Dave and his weird peace offer by talking to your dad. It doesn’t really work, and the conversation trails off as you start overanalyzing the situation with Dave. 

==>Dave: Be a bigger asshole than you meant to be.  
When you get to school the day after talking to John, you don’t say a word to anyone about it. You do pass him in a hallway, though, and give him a subtle Strider sup nod, which he returns with an excited, conspicuous wave. You mentally sigh and shake your head, portraying no outward emotion, of course. That’s not what you do. This kid has a lot to learn.  
Unfortunately, your brother noticed the acknowledgement and proceeded to call you out on it between classes.  
“Dave, what are you doing? We agreed that we weren’t going to talk to that Egbert kid, and I assumed that it was implied that that meant no interaction.” His hard, amber eyes watched you from behind shades, searching you for a motive. He wouldn’t find one.  
“Calm your tits Dirk, its no big deal.” You keep your face completely unreadable. He raises an eyebrow at you before replying.  
“Just don’t do anything I’ll regret.” The implication was clear: you talking to John embarrassed Dirk because you’re brothers, and Striders cannot be publicly shamed. It is not a thing that happens.  
As much as you hate to admit it, you do actually kind of care what your brother thinks. His words echoed in your mind all through 4th period, and by the bell, you had come to a decision about how to handle the scenario.  
You didn’t talk to John that week, and while you didn’t partake in any activities that could be considered bullying, you certainly didn’t stop your friends from doing anything.  
Holy fuck, you’re a shitty friend.


	3. You Owe Me An Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and John chat on pesterchum, Dirk isn't nearly as much of an asshole as he seems, and Jake makes a cameo.  
> (Nailed that summary.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want my babies to be together soon, so that'll come around soon.  
> I can't really write for Jake well, so he's probably not gonna show up too much, but I needed a teensy bit of Dirk/Jake because ahhh I love them too c:  
> Also this was a little rushed, so its a little short and there might be a couple grammar/spelling issues, I apologize.

==>Be a very confused John.

You are John, and you are very confused. Dave said he wanted to be friends with you, but he hasn’t said more than 2 words to you all week. You can’t really say you’re surprised though. People tend to walk into your life, then turn around and walk back out once they realize what a dork you are. You kind of hoped Dave wouldn’t do that, but cool kids are cool kids, and they tend to do what they want.  
Unfortunately, it’s now the weekend and there’s not much to do except more homework and dwell on why Dave won’t talk to you. This is not a good train of thought for you though, so you do your homework and not think about it. When your homework is done you sit at your computer, staring at the red chumhandle just waiting for you to click on. turntechGodhead. Everyone knew Dave’s pesterchum, but nobody actually messaged him, since he replied to all of zero people. Maybe you should just talk to him, see what’s going on. That’s not weird, right? It’s okay to message someone if they’ve expressed interest in befriending you....  
You type up a message, then erase it and retype it, and then erase and retype it again. You settle for a simple “hey dave, it’s john.” and place your fingers on the enter button nervously. What if he doesn’t reply, what if it was a joke and he was just messing with you? What if he gives your handle to those other guys and you have to change it? You look away from your keyboard and press enter with a wince. Anxiously, you look back at the screen, because shit he’s not going to reply he’s going to think i’m such a creep oh my god oh my - The chat window is flashing.  
TG: hey  
Holy shit he responded. It takes a moment to process that he actually wants to talk to you, because Dave literally doesn’t reply to anyone unless he seriously wants to hold a conversation with them. Shakily, you start to type another message. You’re doing this, bro. You’re making this hapen. 

EB: so i like how much we bonded as friends this week.  
EB: we really talked a lot. :B  
TG: yeah my bros being kind of a douchebag about me talking to you  
TG: the dude watches me at all fucking times its insane  
EB: wow, that’s kind of rude.  
EB: what does he have against me anyways?  
TG: i dunno  
TG: hes trying to be all protective older brother or whatever  
TG: i thought it was for irony but hes taking it pretty serious  
TG: dont take it personally or anything he doesnt like a lot of people  
TG: hes a fucking rock when it comes to personal relationships  
TG: just sits there like nope im not going to be friends with anyone  
TG: imma treat my lil bro like a child  
TG: and be condescending as fuck to everyone else  
TG: because that is how dirk strider fucking rolls  
EB: i see.  
EB: dave, do you need to talk about your feelings or something? :B  
TG: fuck no  
TG: just trying to give you a better picture of whats happening here  
EB: well that does explain your silence this week.  
EB: i guess its all good, if you still want to be friends with me and stuff.  
TG: totally dude  
TG: we are still gonna be bros  
TG: i just need to get my brother to calm down and deal with it  
EB: can i ask you a question though?  
TG: go for it  
EB: why does it matter what your bro thinks?  
EB: like, why do you need his approval to be friends with me?  
TG: fuck he just came back  
TG: sorry egbert i gotta go

You start to type out a reply, but Dave has already logged off, so you sit back in your chair and reread the chat log. If you believe him, then everything is fine, you’ve done nothing wrong, he still thinks you’re alright and wants to talk to you. But it’s hard to imagine such a cool confident guy being so easily swayed by what his brother says. Maybe he does think you’re a dork and he just wants to fuck with you.  
You physically wave your hands, pushing the idea out of your head. No, Dave doesn’t hate you. You will date- you mean, be friends with him if it’s all you achieve in high school, dammit. 

 

==>Be Dave.  
You close your chat window as soon as you hear the door. Fucking hell you were trying to convince John that you didn’t want to ignore him all week and you go and run off again. Way to go, Strider.  
Unsurprisingly, your bro saunters into your room just as you log off.  
“ Dave.” It’s one of his usual ploys to get you to talk. He doesn’t say what he wants, instead he wants for you to guess what he wants. Nope, you aren’t playing this game. You’re kind of pissed at him.  
“Dirk.” You match his icy stare. He should know by now that he can’t win with you. You sit in silence for a minute or two before he gives out.  
“So are you done talking to that kid yet?” Of course it was this.  
“No.”  
“You haven’t said a word to him all week.”  
“I know.”  
“Dave, you can’t make this work.”  
“Okay.” Smug bastard, he’s not going to tell you what you can and can’t do.  
“Besides, I don’t know why you’re even trying. I’m pretty sure he’s straight, lil bro.” How the fuck did he even know that? What the hell? Did you mention that to him ever? You didn’t even tell him you were gay. What the actual fuck is happening? Your thoughts are running wild, but they’re internal, as usual.  
“Thanks for the heads up.” You respond, sounding bored (and being very very not bored). He gets up and walks to the door.  
“Just so long as you know.” he adds as he leaves.  
You lay back on your bed and pull your headphones back on. Up until now, you’ve tried very hard to ignore the obvious flaw in your plan, but now that Dirk has said it, it’s really hard to ignore. John has never shown an interest in guys and it’s not like you’re a girl. That is, in fact, a major problem.  
Like a true Strider, you run from your problems and turn up your music as loud as possible and ignore everyone.

==>Be Dave’s asshole brother.  
You are Dirk, and you swear you aren’t as much of an asshole as you come off as. You do seriously care about your brother, you’re just really shitty at showing it. In fact, ever since you picked up on the fact that he was interested in John you’ve tried to warn him that the kid is not a homosexual. Without actually expressing concern, of course. Now it seems to have made things worse, because he’s being really quiet about everything. You know your brother well enough to know that means he’s actually really bothered by it (and Dave thinks he’s being so cool and aloof sounding by not responding). He probably didn’t even know you knew about him liking guys, but come on. He has girls fucking falling over him and he hasn’t had a single girlfriend? Then again neither have you. Which is not to say you haven’t been in a relationship.  
The small screen you attached to your shades lights up, blinking with a message from a certain boy that Dave, as well as the rest of the school, knows nothing about. 

GT: Hello there, dirk!  
TT: Hey Jake.  
TT: What’s up?  
GT: Actually, i’ve learned something that might interest you as well.  
GT: I’ve been talking to my cousin again, and it would seem i was mistaken, old chap.  
TT: Just to clarify, we are talking about Egbert, the cousin that goes to my school, right?  
GT: The very same!  
GT: On numerous occasions this week, he’s mentioned your brother.  
GT: I’m starting to think that “strider swag” has charmed another, dirk!  
TT: Well, shit.  
TT: Okay, that’s nice to know, seeing as I just told Dave he was straight.  
TT: I think we might be just making this worse, bro. 

You turn your auto-responder on without telling Jake, because you need to determine a new plan of attack. Actually, you’re just going to stay out of this. Dave and John can sort it out between themselves.  
See? You actually do care. It would just be massively uncool to say it outright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have no idea when this is gonna update again. >_


	4. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John continues to panic. Dave also panics, but is slightly more smooth about it. (no he's not)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie I updated this for the first time in like 1000 years. Congratulations to TipsyFruityPomPom for catching me in a writing mood and reminding me of this.

==> Be the dork.  
You sit in your room, experiencing what could best be described as a bad case of the mondays. Another day has gone by without a single word from your new “friend” and your anxiety about his motives is once again rearing it’s head. Your dad isn’t home from work yet, and Jade is at a flute lesson. The empty silence of your house does nothing to ease your fears that you are, in fact, very much alone in high school.  
You head downstairs to your piano, a constant source of comfort to you. Your fingers rest on the keys, and you play a melody mindlessly. The origin of the piece is long forgotten, but its soft strains have echoed through the house for years. As you deviate from the original melody, the song grows from a simple song to a grander thing. The rich tones hum through the air, seeming to linger of their own accord and then -  
Your finger slips. You pull a face at the discordance and close the lid of the piano. It’s not like you to make an error like that while freely playing, but you attribute it to the pressing matter you’ve been faced with lately. Pacing the floor, you argue with yourself, unable to decide whether to check your pesterchum for messages. If you give in and check, you’ll never get off the computer because you’ll sit around until he messages you. If you don’t check, you’ll be anxious and curious until you do check, or worse, you’ll miss a message from him altogether. Your thoughts are a conflicted mess right now, and you aren’t sure how it came to this, because all the guy did was apologize for being an ass and suggest being friends. With absolutely zero follow up on the latter.  
Your pacing pauses as a crazy, stupid idea strikes you. Tell him.  
No, you argue. That’s setting yourself up for pain and embarrassment. He’ll tell all his friends that John Egbert is a creepy, desperate homo and given your current stance with his friends, you would not be too thrilled to see that happen. You can’t shake the thought of confessing though. You fight off thoughts of everything miraculously coming together, somehow managing to find forbidden love between the coolest guy in school and the awkward girl next door...er...guy next door. God, this is still weird. No, none of that’s gonna happen, you remind yourself. With a sigh, you head back to your room. There’s homework to be done, anyways.  
When you sit down, your pesterchum icon is flashing. You have a message. 

==> Dave: Stop being a shitty friend.  
Okay, you admit it. A shitty friend is definitely still a thing you are being. You followed your brother’s advice and avoided John all day. Oddly enough, he hasn’t said a word, either good or bad, about the whole deal since he came in to talk to you the other day. It’d be nice to think he forgot about it, but Dirk Strider does not just forget about things. He’s probably trying to show off his unending apathy again or something. In any case, he hasn’t noticed your messages to John yet, so that means of communication appears to be open. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do than torture yourself with emotion, so why not start a conversation with the kid who will never feel the same as you do for him?

TG: yo egbert  
TG: whats goin on

Your message sits unread and unanswered for what feels like hours. You minimize the window and move on to other things, distracting yourself and hardly expecting a response after the first few minutes. You’re deep in the middle of your latest SBaHJ comic when pesterchum starts flashing. 

EB: dave? is that you? has the coolest of kids finally deigned to speak with a lowly one such as myself?

You visibly wince. He’s joking, but he sounds kinda pissed all the same. Not like you can blame him, anyways. 

TG: you know how it is  
TG: busy life  
TG: too many people taking up too much of my time  
TG: its like my time is the tickets for the hottest concert of the year and i just put it on sale 50% off  
TG: everyones clamoring for some  
TG: cant get enough of sucking up my life for their own enjoyment  
TG: god damn it just does not stop  
EB: dude that was a lameass metaphor and you know it.  
TG: shut up man that was poetic genius and you know it  
EB: hah.  
EB: sure, if that’s what you want to call it.  
TG: you wouldnt know true art if it punched you in the dick and sang you a fucking lullaby  
EB: …  
EB: i don’t think i want to meet true art then.  
EB: sounds like a weirdo to me.  
TG: whatever its still cool  
EB: i think i’ve been severely overestimating you. i thought you were at least 3 or 4 times cooler than you are coming off as right now.  
TG: i think i’ve been underestimating you  
TG: you’ve lasted in a conversation for more than 10 minutes kudos to you  
EB: oh hell no. you did not just go there.  
TG: you sound like a sassy gay guy  
EB: i transform into one whenever i feel personally insulted.  
TG: maybe i should insult you more then  
EB: what?  
TG: what  
EB: i’m...  
EB: confused?  
TG: nvm  
TG: oh i actually messaged you with a purpose  
EB: what was that? to insult my conversation skills some more?  
TG: no  
TG: what are you doing this friday  
EB: you’re shitting me, right?  
TG: john how the fuck could that not be taken as a serious question  
TG: there is no possible way to squeeze humor out of that question  
EB: do i look like the type of guy to have plans? ever?  
TG: fair enough  
TG: if you arent doing stuff then  
TG: we should hang out  
EB: whoa dave you’re moving too fast for me here!  
EB: first you ignore me for nearly 2 two weeks and now you’re asking me out? i don’t know if i’m emotionally ready for this.  
TG: cut the crap man do you want to or not  
EB: will this proposed hangout involve the rest of the football team?  
TG: do you want it to  
EB: not particularly.  
TG: then they wont be there  
EB: what exactly did you have in mind for this thing then?  
TG: i dunno  
TG: whatever i guess  
TG: see a movie play some video games  
TG: whatever  
EB: oh! isn’t there a new cage movie coming out this weekend?  
TG: oh fuck no you cant be serious  
TG: nicholas “i’ll be in any movie as long as they pay me” cage  
EB: excuse you i am dead serious.  
TG: eh works for me i guess  
TG: i make no promises about taking it seriously though  
EB: so, ghost rider on friday? for sure?  
TG: sure  
EB: sweet!  
TG: yep  
TG: i gotta go  
TG: my bro is back  
TG: ill see you around egbert

\--turntechGodhead (TG) is offline! --

Your bro definitely is not “back” from anywhere. He’s been sitting around using his stupid computer/shades hybrid thing for whatever the hell he uses them for and hasn’t left his room in hours, but you needed an excuse to stop replying and reflect. You sit back in your chair, vaguely confused about what happened in that conversation and also more than slightly pleased. You’ve gleaned 3 pieces of important information from this conversation. First, John is comfortable enough with the whole concept of gayness to joke about it. Second, he appears to be totally open to this friendship and not blatantly opposed to being around you. Third, he has fucking terrible taste in movies. The movie taste can probably be overlooked, though.  
Your attention shifts to Friday’s plans, and how you’ll be able to get out of your apartment without too many questions from Dirk. You momentarily consider scaling the side of the building before deciding to just walk out. Its not like Dirk would actually interrogate you about where you’re going.  
You’ve got the next 4 days to deal with first, though, and dammit you are going to be the best fucking friend John Egbert has ever had.


	5. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has 4 days to not suck at being a friend and also to win John over to the surprise idea of their plans becoming a date.  
> Meanwhile, John has a minor breakdown over newfound attention from more than just Dave.

==>  
John Egbert does not sit with people at lunch. He keeps to himself, eats quietly, and leaves the table. He does not talk with a group of friends, and he certainly does not eat lunch with a school legend like Dave Strider. No one could deny the obvious though. The quiet kid with the messy black hair and too big teeth and the smooth, unfairly attractive blonde with ever-present shades were undoubtedly sitting together, talking quietly and laughing at private jokes. Their food was nearly untouched, and they never took their eyes off each other. A few jealous girls whispered less than tasteful jokes, but anyone who noticed them sitting off to the side had a few ideas.  
The lunch bell rang and both of them rose. Dave picked up his tray, then John’s too, and walked away from the table to put them away. John followed, still chatting about whatever topic they were on. Nobody had ever seen either of them so talkative.  
From across the cafeteria, Dirk Strider smiled faintly.  
It was an impossible Tuesday.

==> John: Be very pleased.  
You’ve spent your entire high school career up until now aiming to go unnoticed and unbothered. You’ve completely thrown that away in one lunch break, and you couldn’t be more pleased about it. It’s not like you ever expected to suddenly befriend a top-ranking “cool kid” and surprise everyone that knew who you were. That’s exactly what happened though, and you’re currently talking to said cool kid on your way to your next class.

“What class do you have next?” you ask.

“Uh, bio I think. I’m not going, though, so who cares?” he replies casually. You spin around and stop to look at him. 

“You’re not...going?” If you ever ditched a class, your dad would shoot you! He rolls his eyes (you think) behind his shades. 

“Dude. Its no big deal. Its not like there’s anyone to care, besides my brother, like he’d ever give a shit.” 

“But still, what if you get behind?” you argue. Even if your dad had nothing against you missing class, you’d still be afraid of the workload you’d get saddled with.

He scoffs. “Fuck it.” He starts walking again, and you jog the couple steps to catch up with him. You’re not terribly surprised by his attitude, it’s just foreign to hear someone speak so apathetically about school when, up until recently, it’s been all you’ve ever had. 

He follows you to your precalculus class, talking about something else you can’t quite remember moments later. It doesn’t really matter what you’re talking about though, as long as you don’t mess anything up. The final bell rings and you leave him at the door, presumably to walk off campus and hang out with his football friends and his brother. 

Math has never proven itself a difficult subject for you, but it’s felt different lately. The cut and dry solutions don’t offer so much comfort in their certainty. You feel your thoughts drifting back to Dave as the teacher lectures, and while you refrain from doodling girly hearts all over your paper, you can’t really deny at this point that you have it bad for him. Does he know? He has to, after today’s little show at lunch. Suddenly, you’re smacked in the face with self-consciousness. 

The realization of how many people’s eyes were on you dawns on you, and as you go over the conversation you just had, you find all the little mistakes you made. An awkward laugh here, a missed opportunity there. You visibly cringe and cover your face, wanting to disappear. 

“John, are you alright over there?” You glance up at your teacher, who’s looking at you with maternal concern from the front of the class. 

“Heh, yeah. I’m just tired, Ms. Maryam.” you mumble nervously. She looks at you dubiously before carrying on with the lesson. Your attention shifts back to hyperbolas and parabolas for the remainder of class, mostly because you’d rather not face the crippling embarrassment of your own thoughts again.

==> Dave: Be totally cool.  
And by totally cool, you mean completely and pathetically lovesick. No, that’s not what you mean. What do you mean? You don’t fucking know what you mean. It’s probably not cool, though. 

John walks into his class, leaving you standing outside. You sure as hell aren’t going to biology. You’re doing dissections, and while preserved dead stuff is cool in a macabre, oblique way, cutting open and examining said dead stuff is not. You slip your headphones in, picking some random indie band you never really listen to, and walk towards the corner of the school, where it’s easiest to walk off without being stopped. 

About two minutes into your walk you start listening to the song playing. It’s popish and catchy, but the lyrics hold your attention. You swear you just heard a line you liked. Scanning back a couple seconds, you listen closer. 

Yep. Sure enough, its some dumb lyric about love and starting a relationship. Exactly the kind of thing you’re apt to disregard or laugh at. This time though, you can’t get the thought of it out of your head. The song ends, but you set it to repeat. The words resonate in your head and they seem to wrap around your idea of John, until you can’t separate the two. 

Fuck. This.

You are a Strider, you don’t get dumb, happy feelings over anyone. You don’t need anyone, and you make sure everyone knows it. John seems to have you trapped though. He’s given you no warning signs, no signals that he’s not okay with where this friendship could seem to be heavy.  
“...you can’t make this work...”

“...pretty sure he’s straight...”

“...I don’t know why you’re even trying...”

Your brother’s words come back to haunt you. Maybe he’s given you no indication of stopping this progress because he doesn’t realize how you feel. It’d be just like him to be completely oblivious to your feelings and think you really just want to be just friends. Like hell you just want to be friends, with the way you first talked to him. No, you have to do what feels right for you. Goddamn that sounds cheesy when you say it. 

You stop walking abruptly. You have absolutely no idea where you are. You look down at your phone and check the time. 1:57. Looks like you’re missing two classes today then. You quickly call up the gps on your phone and plan your route back to school. You could go home, but you’ll probably get back to school about the time that John gets out of class, and the possibility of seeing him wins out over going home to a pile of Dirk’s smuppets and cheap video games. 

More walking. More shitty indie pop. You aren’t even listening to it anymore, really. Its just the background noise to your more prevalent thoughts, particularly how to transform simple movie plans into an official date. You’ve already made the decision to stay in this for the long haul, so might as well let him know right off the bat what you’re planning. It’s not like he’d shoot you down without a second thought, right? God, there were so many willing people to date, and you had to pick the one you couldn’t be sure about. There were a few uncomfortable times when you knew people just wanted to throw themselves at you and you just sort of ollied outie. 

Whatever. It’s not like anyone else matters at this point. You can do it. You can ask this kid out for real and you are so gonna do it.

Tomorrow.

You think. 

==> John: Find Dave.  
It’s totally creepy and you know it, but you don’t even care. You really want to see Dave again before you go home. You leave your physics class, already scanning the crowds for his familiar shades or nearly white blonde hair. After a few minutes of searching, common sense resumes control of your faculties and you start walking out. When you reach the street, you hear someone call out your name.

“Yo, Egbert! Quit walking, ‘cause I’m sure as hell not running to catch up with you.” You spin around, not really daring to hope it’s Dave, but it’s definitely Dave. You take a couple tentative steps in his direction and let him cover the rest of the distance between you. “Is it cool if I walk with you?,” he asks. Your brain skips for a second before you can come up with a casual response.

“Yeah, sure.” you reply. “I didn’t know you lived near me!” you add, because you really didn’t know that. 

“I don’t.” He smirks at you, letting you parse his meaning yourself. You try really hard not to think he’s implying that he genuinely wants to walk you home. You fail. The thought sets your brain back another step, and you find yourself speechless again. Dave starts chattering about some song he’s working on, and you just walk quietly and listen. You’re not sure what’s brought on Dave’s renewed interest in being friends with you, but if it involves him spending this much time with you regularly, you aren’t gonna question it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys are so oblivious I'm gonna punch them.  
> You both want to kiss so kiss oh my god.


End file.
